Hamas Could Change Their Name to ‘Hummus’

A spokesman for terrorist group Hamas today announced that it was considering changing its name to hummus (the Arabic chickpea dip).

The reasoning for the sudden name change was explained by Hamas spokesman Abdul El Madhoun at an impromptu press conference in Tehran, Iran today.

“As a terrorist group, we are constantly changing and adapting to what is going on. We have now however decided to change our terror organisation’s name from Hamas to Hummus, after the delicious chickpea dip so prevalent in this region. You may ask why we are making this drastic change?

“Well, to put it simply, we want to use the word hummus because that is generally the consistency of one of our terrorist members after they are hit by an Israeli drone or missile. It’s kind of mushy and bubbly with little bits in it, but unfortunately not as delicious as hummus.”

So many Hamas members including high ranking seasoned terrorists have met their end via the route of missiles from above that it indeed seems very apt that they are renamed as hummus.

Hummus recipe

This vegan hummus is made with just five ingredients and ready in 10 minutes. You can pair it with crunchy veggies or warm pitta breads.

Ingredients

1 can chickpeas, drained
60ml cold water, plus a 30ml for a looser consistency
1 small garlic clove, peeled and crushed
1 lemon, juiced then ½ zested
3 tbsp tahini
1 tbsp olive oil, to garnish (optional)
mixed crudités and toasted pitta bread, to serve (optional)

Method

STEP 1

Under cold running water, thoroughly rinse the chickpeas in a colander. Tip into the large bowl of a food processor along with 60ml of water and blitz until almost smooth. Add the garlic, lemon and tahini, and blitz again. If the consistency is too thick, gradually pour in up to 30ml more water. Blitz again for about 5 mins, or until the hummus is smooth and silky.

STEP 2

Season with a healthy pinch of sea salt and transfer to a bowl. Stir the top of the hummus with the back of a dessert spoon and drizzle over a little olive oil. Serve the delicious dish with crunchy crudités and toasted pitta bread, if you like.