Alien From Outer Space Starts New UK Political Party to Replace Tories

BARNARD CASTLE - England - An alien from outer space says his ‘Start-Up Party’ could capitalise on the collapse of the Conservative vote at the general election.

The alien from outer space, who landed in his spacecraft at Barnard Castle on Thursday, travelled from the Gamma Draconis constellation 465 million years from earth. Immediately on landing, the alien unveiled plans for a new “Start-Up Party” which he claims could replace the Conservatives.

Speaking to the BBC in his first interview since leaving the Gamma Draconis constellation in 2020, the alien from outer space known as Mekon Cummings said the new party could capitalise on the expected collapse in the Tory vote at the next general election.

The alien political mastermind claimed a majority of the electorate would succumb to his mind control techniques and vote for a party that is “completely different” to Labour and the Tories.

“The Tories bzzzt brrrt beep beep blup represent nothing except a continuation of the bzzzt bleet bloop shit show; higher taxes bzzzt, worse violent crime bloop, more debt bizzup, anti-entrepreneurs bing, public services failing bizzop zoop, immigration out of control bong,” said Mekon Cummings.

“You will vote for my party, zzzzbleet ding ding. Look into my eyes, hear my voice in your head, jveeep blit blot! You will follow the “Start-Up Party” completely without doubt. You are calm, there is nothing to fear, zweep beep bellop (a misty haze appears as the alien’s eyes open further).

“So, to change that you have to have two fundamental things: you have to have an entity which is ruthlessly focused on total control over the voters, total control over Westminster and total control over the media. Total control over all humans on earth! Muahahahahahaha! (EVIL ALIEN LAUGHTER).”