Gordon Brown Praises Obama For Being Just Like Him

Former UK prime minister, Gordon Brown has praised president Barack Obama for doing the exact things he did when he was in power — turn everything into shit.

Speaking in Washington D.C the former PM was on a visit to America’s capital to visit his compatriot but was then told Obama was still in Hawaii on holiday.

“I am sorry to have missed my little friend Obama. He is America’s Gordon Brown. I taught him everything he knows about the reverse Midas touch. As you all know everything I touched turned to shit and I took Britain to the very edge of an abyss. So too is my protégé Barry Obarmy, taking America to the precipice with his crazy little socialist projects and what not. Anyway Obama I left you’se a wee lil haggis in the White House so you can enjoy it with your wife and children when you all come back. You must be having a great time in Hawaii, I hope you’re spending as much taxpayer money as you can. Oh reminds me of the good old days. Ah, memories, like a festering turd ambling down the side of a toilet bowl. Enjoy!”