Labour Darling Angela Rayner Talks About Her Luxury Properties

“I just had the best orgasm of my life on my plush new luxury bed,” Angela Rayner, Labour’s future Deputy Prime Minister, revealed as she sighed with exhaustion. The ginger growler has been hard at work in one of her many luxurious properties which she owns. The steamed up windows in her bedroom look outwards across an idyllic Yorkshire scene that would make J.B Priestley squeal with delight and a glorious pungent yet sweet smell permeates the room, suggesting something passionate certainly did just occur in this place.

No one knows how many luxury properties or mansions Rayner owns, or how she acquired such a portfolio. Could she have done a Mandelson, or a Blair? These Labour class warriors are rather partial to acquiring their material wealth, it seems. Champagne socialism is of course completely denied by these Labourite ‘champions’ of the working class.

What about Labour leader, Keir Starmer? Well, thankfully for Angela Rayner, he is keeping schtum and not asking any questions despite once being a ‘top’ lawyer.

“If it weren’t for that Tory scum hag Maggie Thatcher, and her 25% discount right to buy, I would not be on this wonderful property portfolio ladder. Thank you, Maggie. Selling that for a good profit, buying this for a good rental income, and all the others I own in Manchester,” a visibly flushed Rayner revealed.

Naturally, like Beergate, and all the other stuff, Labour ministers are immune to any sort of prosecution or investigation by the police unlike their counterparts the Tories who get police attention at the sniff of a fart.

A salute to the hypocrites and champagne socialists of the Labour Party who are now set to win the next election by a massive landslide.