World

Greta Thunberg Training to be Hamas Suicide Bomber

TEHRAN - Iran - Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg is training to be a Hamas suicide bomber in a terror training camp.

“I am moving to Iran to be trained to be a Hamas suicide bomber. The good thing about this is that they use sustainable materials to create the vests and once the explosives are detonated my remains will be biodegradable, offsetting my carbon footprint,” Greta Thunberg told the BBC on Monday.

The Swedish climate activist has sided with Hamas terrorists and is willing to be trained in Jihadist terrorist techniques to be a Hamas suicide bomber by specialist Iranian instructors in creating terror in the Middle East and Israel. The activist will also be schooled in Jihadist ideology and how to press the button to detonate the vest.

“We welcome Greta to our Hamas and Hezbollah training camp in Iran. She will be given training in many techniques on creating terror, genocide and eradicating Israelis,” Abdul Hosseini, an Iranian terror operative, revealed to the Tehran Times.

“All I need is my veggie Swedish meatballs, some mashed potato and a little gravy and I will be okay in Tehran. It is going to be fun, I can’t wait to try out the suicide bomb vest,” Thunberg told BBC News.

Greta Thunberg has also been told by Iranian Shiite clerics that she will get 72 Nobel Peace Prizes shaped like dildos when she goes to heaven after detonation.

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