Helium Accident: Teacher With Giant Rubber Boobs Floats to 16,000 Feet

The Canadian trans teacher who attends school classes wearing giant rubber boobs was last seen floating at over 16,000 feet over Nova Scotia, it has been reported.

According to pupils attending a woodwork class, Katja Lameure, a Manufacturing Technology teacher at Burnsville Nippoleon High School in Ontario, was in the school yard and wanted to show pupils how helium gas works.

“She inserted a tube into each of the gargantuan nipples, then opened up the gas valve. Immediately, the giant rubber boobs started to inflate at great speed. This is when Katja panicked because the valves were stuck. When she lifted off into the sky, her rubber boobs acted like balloons, and she rose up at a speed of approximately 45 mph. She let off a blood-curdling shriek, but was a dot from the ground by now. We all waved her goodbye and wished her god speed on her journey.”

The RCMP rescue helicopter was scrambled at 2:30 from Halifax and was tracking Mr Lameure by radar.

Flight Lieutenant, Johnson McManus, revealed that high winds were blowing the teacher towards Newfoundland, and he had risen to over 25,000 feet.

“Unfortunately, we could not locate the teacher, as he had risen to over 35,000 feet by 16:30 travelling at 52 knots. He was rising because the gas canisters were still attached to his fake boobs. We have asked for Newfoundland military help to track the teacher, who may have also lost consciousness from lack of air.”

According to Professor Michael Calms, of Ontario University, the teacher could climb to over 50km where the stratosphere is located. Either there could be a catastrophic explosion of the giant rubber boobs, or they will gently deflate and eventually in about four or five days bring the teacher back down to earth somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. As for oxygen, there is very little up there.

The search is ongoing as pupils and staff at Burnsville Nippoleon High School in Ontario all held vigils on Sunday. If you see a wailing man hanging under a pair of giant rubber boobs, please contact the RCMP, and please do not shoot.

In 2022, the trans teacher tried to milk her giant fake breasts in the school’s canteen, resulting in psychological trauma for many of the pupils present.