Nelson Mandela Visits the Great Township in the Sky

JOHANNESBURG – South Africa - Nelson Mandela has passed into unknown territory.

Nelson Mandela is returning to the great township in the sky and he is hoping he will not meet that lizard P.W Botha any time soon.

Is there apartheid in heaven? It could be a whites only area, then Mr Mandela may have to go somewhere else.

Staunch South African apartheid supporters have a theory that there are two parts of heaven, one for blacks and the other part for whites.

Julius Malkompf, a white South African race leader explained the difference.

“When a South African dies if they’re black they go to a special kind of heaven. It’s very hot, with fire coming up, flames everywhere, maybe a few burning tires and lots of corrugated iron. The guards make sure the blacks do not venture out of their heaven. As for the whites, when they go to heaven it’s like the proper heaven. Let’s just say it’s similar to a gated community, you know with a golf course and swimming pool, and gorgeous blonde haired Boer women walking around in bikinis going ‘Yah, yah, yah’.  This is what we teach in our churches.”

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