World

Dylan Mulvaney to be Star of Biden 2024 Campaign

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Joe Biden's 2024 election team have enlisted Dylan Mulvaney as the mascot for the upcoming campaign.

After completely destroying the Bud Light brand by Anheuser-Busch, twinkle toe Dylan Mulvaney, who is currently assuming the role of a woman by grotesque mockery, is set to become the face of the Biden 2024 presidential campaign.

Mulvaney, 35, has already visited the White House to meet his hero Joe Biden numerous times and is a regular in the South East Wing.

Since his escapades with Bud Light, many companies supporting the beer have gone bust, and even Costco is set to stop trying to sell the beer that no one wants, after the piss water received the dreaded “star of death“.

Randy Farquerre, chief staffer for Biden’s election campaign team, is excited to bring Dylan Mulvaney onboard the 2024 presidential ticket.

“Dylan represents everything that is wrong with America, and that’s exactly what Joe Biden represents. We are on the wrong side of the track going nowhere fast, and that’s why we chose this obnoxious deluded gay man acting in an obscenely exaggerated manner in the way that he thinks women act. Dylan insults and obfuscates women, every day. The same goes for Biden, he is an imposter trying to act like a president but failing miserably. He is an insult to the White House.”

Drink up your Bud Light, folks, it’s going to be a fun election season.

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