EU Citizens Will Need Three Months Rent Says Cammo

In a bid to ramp up his prospects for reelection, David Cameron was today outlining a new scheme that will ensure some votes from someone out there at least in the coming general election in 2015.

“C’mon mate I need some votes from someone. That’s why I’ve got this new EU immigrant deal going that looks like it will not be enforceable but will please some easily fooled idiots who may vote for me. We’re still going to be the dumping ground for every beggar from here to Bucharest but there you go, I’ll get a second term and what happens after that, who gives a shit?”

“Only three months till we get full benefits? No problem, we come in, get registered, then go home for three months for a holiday, then come back again. Easy. After we’re finished with your country, you won’t have anything left,” a jubilant beggar from Romania told the BBC.

Cameron’s desperate scramble to placate a British population fearful of being further overrun by hordes of even more EU citizens from some of the poorest, most deprived former Soviet bloc countries in the European Union is an obvious pre-election piece of elasto plaster on an already festering wound on Britain. The damage has already been done.