Biden: “It’s a good thing they didn’t find the sacks of money in my garage”

Crooked Joe Biden was in a jokey mood on Sunday as investigators left his garage where they found multiple large boxes stashed with highly classified top secret material that could compromise national security.

“Around here I’m called ‘The Big Guy’ and I get more than 20% for that. It’s a good thing those investigator assholes never found the sacks of cash I received, ahem, from China and Burisma. Wanna know why? Because it’s all down in the basement. Oh shoot, I just gave it away!” (slaps his forehead)

Naturally, because Biden is a protected Democrat party darling, he can do anything and the FBI will cover it up. The US media is also keeping the investigation story as low profile as possible, and will do their best to cancel it altogether in a week or so.

“Good news is I will get away with it, and the FBI have got my back. I could run someone over today in my car, and they’d cover that up too. The media has my back. They covered up Hunter’s fuck-ups, and they always cover up mine. The FBI looks out for crooked Democrats,” Biden added before reversing his 1967 Corvette over an old lady walking her dog and into a parked car outside his Delaware mansion.