Cattle Feed to be Introduced at American Airports

TSA officials are expected to introduce cattle feed at American airports for the passengers to ease their stress levels during their travels news reports from America claim.

“Once they enter the designated detention zones, they will be branded, weighed then corralled into lanes. There will be feeding troughs on each side of the lanes where passengers can feed themselves if need be. We will also provide water for the passengers as the queues can sometimes take three or four hours to clear the checkpoint. If we deem you a threat in any way, you will be made to disappear. Please enjoy your flight,” TSA spokesman, Dan Groper, told MSNBC.

Once travellers clear the heavily patrolled lanes, they are then asked to strip and if need be internal body cavity searches take place. The TSA also utilise full body x-ray scanners on passengers to check if they are complying with TSA rules.

One passenger was very happy about the new directives.

Peter Grundham, 32, from Syracuse, New York state said: “I am happy about being treated like livestock. God bless America. It’s for our own safety. I love all the wire taps, listening devices and surveillance as well as the full body groping. We fly thirty times a year and the checkpoints are the most enjoyable part.”

Looks like the U.S. tourism drive is also working as tourists to America have declined by over 85% in recent years. This is certainly one way the U.S. can whittle down the vast deficit and debt.