King Charlie Has to Clean Out Bloated Royal Family Say Experts

The newly appointed King Charles III indeed has quite an arduous task ahead of him, say royal experts.

Historian, Angus Lamps, revealed the daunting changes the new king will have to make.

“During his speech to the nation, the new king revealed some of his plans after his accession. Despite the horrors meted upon the Windsors by his uncouth son Harry and his domineering wife, the king masked his true feelings instead by love bombing the erroneous couple. He however, sealed their fate by mentioning Harry’s new life abroad. That effectively relayed the message that there was no way back for Harry or his harridan wife.

“The subsequent walkabout with William and Kate was ordered by the king, and was more of a gesture to showcase Christian forgiveness. This virtuous display of faith by the royals of course masks their true feelings but is a show of their allegiance to the Anglican Church. Furthermore, as a final twist, psychologically speaking it was designed to show what Harry was missing. He will now go back to his bland vulgar life in America and see how there is a vast drop in the quality and character of many of the people there, especially the shallow, plastic, fake people Meghan is accustomed to.

“Regret will naturally fester in Harry’s tortured mind. As he has now effectively exiled himself to a life of banality and horrid celebrity talkshows, but as King Charles previously promised, the Royal family will be summarily cleaned out of fluff, including Harry’s kids pumped out by that cunning power mad thing he was duped into marrying. Harry will also regret all that poisonous advice to ignore the Queen on his recent visits, as once she was truly taken ill, it was too late. When he did finally get to Balmoral, the Queen had already passed. Meghan Markle tried with all her might to go with Harry, possibly with a Netflix camera crew or listening device in tow but was thankfully denied by Charles himself.

“The culling will not just relate to Harry and his kids but to other minor royals, including the disgraced Duke of York whose exploits with the Epstein character sealed his own downfall.”