Cost of Living Crisis: Selling Your Kidney For the Weekly Shop

Unfortunately, food is an essential part of survival and living creatures like humans need food. The question is, though, how can you purchase food from the shops if it is too expensive?

Marjorie Fentanilli, 46, from Streatham, London, recently solved the odious conundrum of buying her weekly shopping by selling her left kidney to a little Chinese man she met in an alley way on the way back from her local supermarket.

“I basically got to the checkout, and they blurted out an enormous price for the handful of goods I had on the checkout thingy. I had to leave all the shopping there and walk out. On the way home, I went through a dark alley way and I heard a Psssst sound. It was a little China man, and he said he could get me my weekly shopping no problem. Intrigued, I followed him to his home where he revealed that he could take out my left kidney and give me £350 for it. He assured me it wouldn’t be painful, and that way I could afford to eat for a few days.”

Mrs Fentanilli’s left kidney was removed, and the internal organ sent to China, where it will be sold to a rich Arab from Dubai or Saudi Arabia for hundreds of thousands of pounds in profit.

Capitalising on the cost of living crisis, there are many of these insidious Chinese operations being carried out across the UK.

“It was either I sell one of my kidneys or I take out one of those dodgy loans at 10,000% APR that no one can ever pay back. I chose to sell my kidney, pancreas and one of my lungs. At least this way, I can afford to eat for three weeks before I run out of money,” another organ donor revealed.