Britain Sitting on Huge Enormous Gas Reserves

What’s this price cap crap? They are now saying that energy prices will rise by 80% by October. Fuck that! Did you know that the British Isles hold ginormous amounts of gas reserves which can be tapped at will easily?

“Yes, we have vast amounts of gas reserves in the UK ready and willing to be tapped. It’s all located right here in the Houses of Parliament. After we tap all the MPs, there will be so much gas that it will be almost given away for free,” an honourable member of parliament revealed today.

Experts have estimated that one month of parliament could supply enough gas for the next 200 years for the UK.

How Will it be Done?

• Hoses will be fitted in the House of Commons and House of Lords.
• All MPs and Lords will be milked of their gaseous excretions directly from their arses and also whenever they speak.
• Pumping stations within parliament will then deliver the gas to households all across the UK.

Well, that solves the gas problem, but what about electricity?

“We’re still working on that. Any ideas anyone has, please forward them to us?” The UK’s energy regulator OFGEM spokesman, Butler Ohms, revealed on the BBC.