Tony Blair Brokers Deal to Speak in Philippines

The two hour speech will net the former British prime minister an amazing $6,720,000, of which he will not give a penny to the dying and destitute Filipinos.

Blair’s operations manager said: “Tony will be safely enclosed within an air conditioned bullet proof see-through glass container where he will not smell the stench of rotting bodies or hear the awful cries of the dying children. He will talk for two hours about numerous subjects including little bits of knowledge on how multi-national banking corporations can squeeze more money out of the pockets of poor people, and how corporate greed actually helps the Third World. Once the speech ends, he will be whisked away to Manila to stay at the five star Hilton and enjoy lavish dining sessions with corrupt Filipino government officials. Cherie will not be there, so enough said about the nightly entertainment.”

Tony Blair’s itinerary has been quite full this month and he stands to gross over $62 million in untaxed income.