Man Fried Alive On Hottest Day Ever in Britain

One of the worst casualties to hit on the hottest day ever recorded in Britain at 45 degrees Celsius, a man was fried alive whilst standing on a metal manhole cover in Piccadilly Circus at midday.

Shocked passers-by who saw the live frying session were said to be receiving counselling, in the shade.

“I had a large ice cream in my hand and was about to eat it when I heard this sizzling sound. You know, like bacon in a frying pan. He was standing on a grate or something and the heat must have been very high. I was going to have a fry up later, but sort of put off it now,” Annie Rasher, 22, from Hull revealed in the Evening Standard.

Another bystander recalled the incident: “He was decked out with some serious oil over his body. Guess he thought he would show off his pecs as he was shirtless. When I heard the frying sound, and smelled burning, I looked around to see the poor blighter frying like a saveloy sausage in me local chippy. ‘Scuse me mate, a bit of bile came up.”

The ashes of the man were taken to St Thomas’ hospital, where police forensics experts will try to identify the unfortunate man.