Obama: “I Did Not Have Eavesdropping Relations With That Woman”

Speaking at a White House press conference, the U.S. President emphatically denied that he had auditory relations with Angela Merkel.

“I can’t even speak German, and there were certainly no blue dresses with unsightly crusty stains on them. Hell, if Michelle finds out I’ll get a good whooping,” the President of the United States said.

The president also denied any prior knowledge of the NSA and told cameras “I don’t even know what the NSA is? I know what NWA is but the NSA is something I draw a blank with.”

Looks like president Obama has escaped a rather delicate situation and can now relax with the other minor problems dogging his tenure, like the new Obamadon’tcare health system.