Kardashian Baby Sold to Armenian Orphanage

GYUMRI - Armenia - Well, that didn't last long. According to Hollywood reporters at E, the Kardashian baby has been sold off to an Armenian orphanage due to the fact it was getting too much attention.

Kardashian spokeswoman, Lillian Burns revealed the news this morning, and many were not surprised by the controversial decision.

“The baby took all the limelight, and also it was impacting on sponsorship deals as well as inflicting damage on a newly proposed reality show brokered by the controlling gold digger mother. Remember, nothing, I repeat nothing gets in between Kim Kardashian and a camera lens.”

The Kardashians brokered the baby deal in the early hours of Monday and the baby was shipped over today never to be seen again.

Kim Kardashian says she is relieved about the episode: “Bought a new handbag with the baby payment, I got my nails done, had my face done, got some botox. Now I can get on with the 18th series of my banal, brainless shit heaping bland money making show. Thank you for watching you braindead zombies, don’t forget I like to check my heaving bank balance every two fu**ing minutes and it’s all thanks to you. Now get me my cream soda, I need another facial from some bastard hip hopping douche from the ghetto.”

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