M25 Eco Zealot Roadkill Could Solve Meat Shortage in Supermarkets

Supergluing your anus to a motorway where vehicles travel at over 70 MPH may seem like a good idea for an eco ‘warrior’ zealot protesting about home insulation, but for sane people, it’s just plain fucking crazy, and you could end up as a case of roadkill.

“If you have an 18-wheeler HGV travelling at 65 MPH go over one of these chumps who has superglued themselves to the road, it would be a mess. The first set of wheels would burst out their insides all over the bloody place, then the second set of wheels would crush all the bones, and the third and fourth flatten the eco zealot roadkill maybe as flat as a piece of paper,” an engineer studying the subject revealed.

Currently, eco zealots are holding up multiple motorways in the country, and these thick idiots do not realise that whatever Britain does for ecological matters does not matter when you have China and India pumping out trillions of tonnes of pollutants into the atmosphere and environment every year.

“If the entirety of Britain did not eat, fart, or expel any carbon dioxide for 100 years, it would not make a difference to the global ecology simply because you have countries like China/India/USA polluting the earth ad infinitum. If Britain were to disappear tomorrow, it would not make an iota of difference to the global levels of poison being pumped out by China or India. Why don’t these morons go to China, where the real problem is? I’ll tell you fucking why, because these idiots would be locked up, their bare feet beaten with steel rods, then executed just before they have their organs harvested for some rich Saudi Arabian who needs new kidneys,” one man with some sense said whilst sitting on the M25 in a 28-mile-long queue for six hours.

Meat eaters gotta eat! So looks like it’s eco terrorist roadkill for your winter stew pot, freshly ground on the M25…hmmm…nothing like a piping hot meat casserole for those dark winter evenings.