Godfrey Bloom to Retire to Bongo Bongo Land

Addressing waiting reporters outside his new home in Bongo Bongo Land, Mr Godfrey Bloom said: “I have felt for some time now that the UK and UKIP was not really right for me any more, I wanted to pursue my dream of retiring somewhere away from all of that. I was up all night one night looking at a map of the world and I thought to myself I must finally find Bongo Bongo Land. I immediately sold up and Muriel and I, my pet parrot, went on a long journey to discover the land of Bongo. It is truly a land of riches beyond any man’s wildest dreams.”

UKIP sources today said Mr Bloom’s retirement in Bongo Bongo Land was a great loss to the party and wished him all the best for the future. Mr Farage told the BBC: “I even lent him my spear.”