First Dog Bo Loses EBT Card During Presidential Airlift

“The presidential dog’s EBT card was missing. It is a crucial piece of equipment strapped to the dog’s back at all times and allows the dog to be fed at any 5 star gourmet restaurant in the world immediately,” one of the 500 odd secret service staff guarding the Obama’s revealed anonymously.

Since Obama was elected, EBT (Electronic Benefit Transfer) cards have spiralled out of control with more than 60% of the U.S. population now using them to get taxpayer funded food.

“It’s basically a good way for Democrats to gain votes. If you take our EBT, we’ll feed you with anything you want. You gotta vote Democrat though because if the Repugnant party gets in, then they’ll take your EBT and tell you to get a job. This is where the U.S. taxpayer money goes — and of course to Bo, the presidential poodle, so keep working those jobs you taxpayer suckers!” an independant observer for the upcoming 2016 election told the Washington Post.

Looks like the United States is going to have another Democrat in office in 2016.