Spanish Armada Seen Off British Coast

“Where’s Sir Francis Drake when you need him? Oh, I forgot most of our navy was decommissioned by Cameron. Oh well,” Queen Elizabeth II said from her throne.

According to King Carlos I of Spain, the Spanish Armada is here because they want their Rock back and they want to depose Queen Elizabeth II for being a protestant who is thus deemed a heretic by the Catholic Spaniards. The newly appointed Argentinian Pope has given the Armada his full blessing.

The Armada Invencible has also been joined by war ships all the way from Argentina who have teamed up with the Spaniards for a fight against the English.

“Avast! You swiving Spanish paella munching degos. We’re going to send out some fire ships to rout your feeble Armada,” an English sailor shouted from the seashore.