Fake U.S. Terror Announcements Justify NSA Snooping

WASHINGTON DC - USA - "I told you so!" was the tone coming from the NSA chief today as more terror attack warnings were released all over the place.

“Now you don’t mind being snooped on so much do you, huh, huh, huh?” the NSA chief said then he added, “We just saved your asses from fake terrorist attacks that were never going to happen by unknown terrorists and stuff.”

A man from Devoyne, North Texas said: “Is it safe to come out from under the table now?”

Many in the Chicago metro area were holed up in basements all night and day yesterday local news stations were reporting.

In New York city a woman was so scared that she could not talk.

Al Blone, a terror expert from the Pentagon said: “This shit keeps people on their toes. We bring these announcements out to liven people up a bit. You got to keep looking over your shoulder, you can’t sleep and suspect everyone and everything. It’s great, for us it’s entertainment, for you though, it’s fear. We love it. Just enjoy the moment folks. As long as you don’t think about the economy, we’re happy.”

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: us

Recent Posts

Comrade Starmer is No Friend of Meddling Capitalist Enemy the USA

GRIMSDALE - England - Comrade Starmer speaks about the enemy of the People's Republic of…

1 day ago

Trump Issues “Ultimate Bro-Mance Pardon” to Putin, Claims Ukraine Invasion Was Just “Borrowing Crimea for a Home Renovation”

MAR-A-LAGO - USA - President Donald Trump has issued a pardon to Vladimir Putin in…

1 day ago

New Analysis Predicts the Green Economy Will Exceed $7 Trillion Annually by 2030

GENEVA - Switzerland - A newly released report by the World Economic Forum reveals that…

3 days ago

“An OBR official who revealed the lies told by Reeves and Starmer has been liquidated”

LONDON - England - The head of the OBR has been liquidated and processed into…

3 days ago

A Day in the Life of a Woman in Labour’s Benefits Britain

ESSEX - England - Thanks to Labour's budget, taxpayers will foot the bill for more…

4 days ago

GameZone Casino Popularity Grows Across Online Communities

MANILA - Philippines - GameZone Casino is growing in popularity across many online communities as…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.