Fake U.S. Terror Announcements Justify NSA Snooping

“Now you don’t mind being snooped on so much do you, huh, huh, huh?” the NSA chief said then he added, “We just saved your asses from fake terrorist attacks that were never going to happen by unknown terrorists and stuff.”

A man from Devoyne, North Texas said: “Is it safe to come out from under the table now?”

Many in the Chicago metro area were holed up in basements all night and day yesterday local news stations were reporting.

In New York city a woman was so scared that she could not talk.

Al Blone, a terror expert from the Pentagon said: “This shit keeps people on their toes. We bring these announcements out to liven people up a bit. You got to keep looking over your shoulder, you can’t sleep and suspect everyone and everything. It’s great, for us it’s entertainment, for you though, it’s fear. We love it. Just enjoy the moment folks. As long as you don’t think about the economy, we’re happy.”