Jack Ma Found

The unfortunate disappearance of the prolific Chinese internet billionaire Jack Ma has drawn blanks across the globe, but in China people disappearing is a normal occurrence.

“One minute you may be a celebrated billionaire entrepreneur jet-setting across the world, dining in the best restaurants and brushing shoulders with the rich and famous, the next minute you do not exist, cancelled by the Chinese politburo, your organs sold off to some Dubai businessman who needs a new rectum. This is China my friend, this is how communist enterprise work,” Ring Ring Ping, an ex-CCP hitman from Shanghai revealed on Monday.

Where was Jack Ma found?

According to sources in the Chinese Communist Party, it was a secret operation to cancel Jack Ma, and his remains were found in a Beijing landfill area.

The man who found Jack Ma’s remains recognised the tycoon from his cheeky grin he still had on his face.

“I was looking for some food to eat when I came across a restaurant sized tin for boiled eggs. Looking inside I see lots of pieces of meat, so I think stir-fry later, but shock came across me when I turn a piece and little Jack Ma head look up at me. I fright and run! But then my tummy grumble a little. So that night my family had stir-fry pork balls! You know like numbah 52 in menu. When you mince everything no one ever know what they really eat, just like in all Chinese restaurants. Add sweet and sour sauce and delicious. Thank you, Jack, you fed my family of sixteen that night!”

Mystery solved, bon appétit.