Obama: “You Still Got Four More Years of Me”

“Congress and the Senate can try all they want to stop me, it ain’t gonna happen because time and time again, I will keep on the Obama agenda. I am Ob the almighty powerful, and no goddamn tin man, cowardly lion or scarecrow is match for my army of flying Obamamites,” the president said from the Hawaiian sunshine.

With 5-year-old children being arrested on school buses for bringing in 2cm long toy soldier guns and checkpoints every 100 yards across the country, Obama has certainly made an effort for Change.

“We’re pumping the stock market with fake money so it goes so high, I don’t think people will know what hits them when the bottom falls out. Let’s look at the fundamentals here, half the country is on food stamps and Medicaid. Obamacare is lifting up your healthcare costs by as much as 150% in some parts of the nation, and remember folks, by law you have to buy it. Jobs? Hell yeah, if you want a job shining hubcaps for $4.50 an hour let me see you feed your family on that? Drones up the ass, we got drones coming out of the woodwork, and surveillance of all your phone calls, internet, and all of your purchases. I don’t think in Stalin’s Russia they had so much surveillance. As for Gitmo, I lied about that too folks. Yep, it’s still open and we got goat herders from some desert in there who did nothing and have not even been charged. That place ain’t closing any time soon. As for the Brothers and Sisters of America, you’re all doomed because I don’t care about you. As far as I’m concerned you’re all lazy dumbasses with a ‘gibs me’ culture where you think everything is owed to you, I’m from Africa and I have a work ethic. My father was not a slave like yours, so keep up with the big chip on your shoulders, it don’t mean shit to me,” the president added as he was driven out for another golf session.