Oligarchs in Hotel Fight Cause Billions Pounds Damage

“It was hell. The oligarchs just went crazy when one of them started to brag about his billions and pulled out a huge wad of cash from his pocket,” the hotel’s bell boy revealed.

In addition to the dining hall, the ballroom and hotel’s reception, several levels were trashed and some of the oligarchs even dropped wads of cash around.

“I’ve never seen so much money on the floor. Well, it was blood, hair and money strewn all over the expensive broken décor,” Mrs Janice Smith, 54, who had gone to have a cup of tea and scones at the hotel’s dining room.

The hotel manager explained his take on the situation: “In the old days it used to be rock stars doing the damage but now that the music biz is an insipid lame pool of mediocrity, it is the oligarchs having their destructive fun.”

Some even suggested that the Bullingdon club may have attended briefly but this was dismissed as the evidence clearly leads to the Russians.