Trump to Open Presidential Library of Authors Books Written About How Bad He is

You have the Clinton presidential library, with hidden compartments to stash naked young women, you have the Obama library where books about climate change and anal rimming techniques are the choice, and you have the George W. Bush library, which only has one book, My Pet Goat. The Donald Trump presidential library is set to stump all of the prior presidents, and their ego stroking book depositories.

Trump is going to open up a whole library of books dedicated solely to authors who have spilled the dirt on the president, backstabbers, former employees with grudges, former White House staff who were fired, and all the rest of the Trump haters who wrote vast volumes of text detailing how bad a person he is.

“I want to put all the tremendous hate into one place, so I can walk in there and revel in all of it. We’re not just talking a dozen books here, in my four years of presidency I think maybe 85,000 books have been written about me and by authors that are so deranged all they can do is hate me. I revel in this, because I affected those people so much, they went and wrote a book about me, good for them. You know, I should get royalties from them all, maybe I might get my new lawyer to look into that. We’re going to see rows and rows of these books in my new shining library, it’s gonna be bigger than Obama’s that’s for sure,” President Donald J. Trump quipped from the White House on Wednesday.

There’s even talk about bringing out an encyclopaedia of Donald Trump Haters, who all seem to have come out of the woodwork only weeks before the election. Hell, even Matt Drudge, who usually has his nose firmly lodged far up a Republican president’s anal passage, is in on the act with daily negative Trump stories aggregated.

“No other president has received such a wall of hate, obstacles, impeachments, false accusations as Trump, and I think it’s because they are really scared he will win a second term. The negative news projects are released with such quantity daily, they now overlap each other publicity wise. We are talking well researched hit pieces, some with actual evidence as opposed to the old ‘anonymous source’ route. I don’t know anyone on this planet that can survive that kind of shit, but the Teflon Don. Sure some stuff sticks a little while longer, like the vet smear project, but all I see is Trump wading through this manure, he’s doing it relatively calmly too, with ease. You gotta hand it to him, and if he wins the Nobel Peace Prize, he will deserve it way more than Obama, who just got his for being black,” a prominent Capitol Hill commentator revealed about the whole fiasco.