World

Obama: “Joe, You Can Do It!”

FLORIDA - USA - Former President, Obama has visited Democrat presidential candidate Joe Biden in his retirement home to coach him for the November election.

Former president, Barack Hussein Obama, is giving ailing presidential candidate Joe Biden as much support as possible during the Democrat election campaign.

Obama flew into Biden’s retirement community in Florida on Wednesday and even interrupted a session of daily formaldehyde injections Biden has to endure daily without which he would decompose.

“You can do it Joe, I know you can!” Obama yelled at the top of his voice directly into Joe’s hearing aid.

“Whuh? Whuh ya say?” Sleepy Joe replied.

“You’re gonna win the election for the Democrats. We need you to keep it together Joe! C’mon now, let’s prepare that speech,” Obama yelled.

“I, I..erection? Whut erection? Haven’t had one o’ those since 1993. Whut year is this anyways..(dribbles)?”

That’s when Obama rolls his eyes around, then slaps his knee in frustration.

“You have to do a speech in two days. Look, Michael prepared some words for you. You remember Big Mike Dontcha? You two used to get along like a swamp on fire.”

“Hey, it’s comin’ back to me..(coughs hard). The big guy in a dress with shoulders broader than a marine on parade? I remember..(laughing and giggling)!”

“Yeah! Mikey prepared a few words for you to say so we can win the election, and bring in the communism. C’mon now Joe, we need to prepare, where are your reading glasses?” Obama desperately pleads.

At that moment, Biden’s nurse storms into the room.

“Visiting time is over folks. Joe needs his formaldehyde injections and his sleep. Thank you Mr. Obama but you will have to come back tomorrow.”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    19 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.