Obama State of the Quack Address

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Lame duck president Obama waddled onto the podium on Tuesday night and started quacking away at things he would like to do but kind of won't be able to do during his lame duck second term.

“I want to quack quack make it harder for some people to own certain types of quack quack guns and make it harder for small businesses to quack employ people and also keep on quack quacking people with drones and play some more quack quack rounds of golf,” president Obama said to rapturous applause from the assembled Democrats, but a lot of hissing sounds came from the Republican corner.

Gabe Mulrones, a Republican congressman from Kentucky said: “The boy got guts going up there wearing a duck outfit. If he was in the wilds back home, we’d be getting the ol’ blunderbuss out and shooting the ol’ duck from the sky. Good thing I got my duck caller with me tonight so I can make some funny duck sounds at the goddamn Democrat assholes.”

Let the second lame duck term commence.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.