Obama State of the Quack Address

“I want to quack quack make it harder for some people to own certain types of quack quack guns and make it harder for small businesses to quack employ people and also keep on quack quacking people with drones and play some more quack quack rounds of golf,” president Obama said to rapturous applause from the assembled Democrats, but a lot of hissing sounds came from the Republican corner.

Gabe Mulrones, a Republican congressman from Kentucky said: “The boy got guts going up there wearing a duck outfit. If he was in the wilds back home, we’d be getting the ol’ blunderbuss out and shooting the ol’ duck from the sky. Good thing I got my duck caller with me tonight so I can make some funny duck sounds at the goddamn Democrat assholes.”

Let the second lame duck term commence.