Farewell the Dark Pope Back to the Catacombs With You

VATICAN CITY - Italy - As much as he appeared with a puff of sulphurous smoke, the grand Papa Benedict is leaving us, to be reclaimed by the entity that brought him to us in the first place.

“We will not miss the air of menace and the smile that could curdle milk, but we will instead think to ourselves, who could top Pope Benedict XVI for sheer dramatic value? Satan himself could not come close to such presence,” Antonio Malvolio, a Vatican expert, commented on the Rai Uno channel after hearing the news of the pope’s resignation today.

One can imagine a scene reminiscent of Dante’s Inferno, with the pope stepping out of an elevator as it hits the bottom of the cavern. He is finally home, away from the baying crowds who so maliciously denied him of any respect or gratitude.

“Unfortunately for this pope, there was an unholy air about him. The tricksters of past ages at least had an air of spiritual bliss about them, yet Benedict exuded an air of malice, chaos and anarchy. The world is certainly not a better place now after many years of his presence. In fact, it is as if he took the malevolent energy and negativity that he channelled and increased it even further to impossible levels,” a Vatican insider revealed.

Farewell dark Pope…farewell…

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