Xi Jinping Congratulates Chinese Virus on Job Well Done

Chinese communist dictator, Xi Jinping today addressed the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) explaining how the Chinese Virus (COVID-19) had successfully wreaked havoc on the rest of the world whilst leaving China practically unscathed.

“Comrades, fellow Bolshevik warriors, Commissars and assorted communist brainwashed slaves. I am so proud of the exemplary work done to destroy the economies and people of the other countries we will conquer soon by our very dear Chinese Virus.

“Can you imagine, our beloved comrade in arms, COVID-19, has killed over 100,000 Americans without a single shot being fired. You have to agree, this has been a spectacular ploy and it is not just America, but all the other Western countries that have been dealt a lesson in Chinese communist warfare.

“First we whittle them down slowly until they are on their knees, then we will attack without mercy.

“Comrades, I know our cities are too overcrowded and polluted after years of desecration. Our population will soon have new lands to live in comfort, and with untold riches once our beloved Chinese Virus has devastated the other countries. Our people need room, we are already 1.8 billion Chinese, and soon all the globe’s resources and land will be ours.

“We have fooled those gullible idiots in the WHO, and the head of that organisation is firmly under our payroll. After the Chinese Virus and great army cleanses the world, we will move in and start building up our great Chinese communist empire, the one our beloved Chairman Mao dreamed of.

“I promise you comrades, soon you will be able to stroll down the Paris streets, Beverly Hills, London, Berlin, Vienna, Sidney, Moscow, and be at home in the new China. The factories we will put in Africa, and those stinking African slaves can deal with the pollution.

“May the Chinese Communist Party live for the next thousand years.”

<profound applause from assembled commissars>