Boris Johnson Buys Pair Flip Flops For Holiday

“By Jove, I used to be for an in/out EU referendum but now I’m not sure this minute and am towing the europhile line. You know Bo Jo’s always up for a smattering of in/out with some floozy when the missus is not looking, but this time I said ‘non’ to the EU referendum and joined the frogs and Cammo for a no in/out reffy,” Mr Johnson said before popping into his office for another in/out session with his secretary, Miss Luscious Lips.

Reporters for the Evening Standard who were perched outside Mr Johnson’s London Mayoral office yesterday also heard Boris quoting Latin whilst grunting like a wild animal.

“I was just teaching a young blonde intern a little first conjugation ‘Amo, Amas, Amat.’ She had very kindly delivered a new pair of flip flops for the family holiday in Montenegro next week,” Boris was reported as saying when he opened the door afterwards.

Boris Johnson and his new pair of flip flops, probably paid off by some EU bureaucrat, will be on holiday all of next week, his office has revealed.