U.S. Election Organisers Busy Setting Up Vote Rigging Machines

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Now that all the theatrical presidential debates are over, election organisers are busy setting up the vote rigging machines that will count what has been decided many months ago.

“It’s the same thing every four years. We get the call to set up the machines all across the nation so that they will give the pre-programmed election result,” Bud Kowalski, one of the engineers on the team in Dallas, Texas told reporters at a Romney election rally yesterday.

Certainly, one may view election rigging as slightly cynical, however in the interests of stability, it is a well known fact amongst the hierarchy that relying on the people’s vote is very dangerous and unreliable.

“You don’t think for one second that the world’s most powerful nation would have elections decided by a vote from the people do you? No way Jose, that ain’t going to happen,” a Diebold voting machine programmer revealed.

Many of America’s e-voting machines do not produce a paper record for voters because it is not required by the law.

One election official said: “Without paper ballots election officials have no way to go back and conduct an audit to see whether votes were counted correctly. This is how elections can be engineered to produce specific results. You really can’t tell whether vote totals are accurate unless you have a paper ballot and most polling stations in America don’t.

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