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What Might the New Boris Baby Look Like?

LONDON - England - A specialist agency was commissioned to predict what the new Boris baby will look like when it's born.

Experts at the Pre-Post-Natal Prediction Agency have come up with an amazing prediction for what the new Boris baby will look like when it pops out of his soon to be wed wife, Carrie Symonds.

Using algorithmic neural spectrographic technology and five quantum computers working 24-7 for a fortnight, the final image was unceremoniously splatted out just like one of Boris’ many sprogs.

Boris Baby

“Our eggheads are delivered straight off the line from MIT and Stanford, so I have every confidence that the image representational algorithm neural imaging software and the quantum computers have done their work, either that or the image was rendered by some little pipsqueak from the Daily Squib with an old mac and a copy of photoshop sitting in a dark room surrounded by half-full coffee cups, pizza boxes and very loud music blaring out,” assistant director to the program, Professor Arnold Kovaks revealed.

The predictive portrait will be featured in a special exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery on the 12th March for a month.

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