Mitt Romney Banned From Air Force One

“It’s real easy, if we let that moron on the plane, he’ll try and open the windows and doors at high altitude. That’s why he’s banned,” Elridge Mulrooney, a Pentagon organiser told Fox news.

Mr Romney seems to think that opening windows in a pressurised cabin at high altitude is perfectly permissible.

“You open the window or door at thirty thousand feet and you will see what will happen. I’d like to see Mitt do that, he’d get sucked out in a split second and unless he’s got a parachute he’d be up shit creek without a paddle,” Ernest Tendlebaum, an Obama White House aide quipped.

In the unlikely event that Romney becomes president, he will have to be transported around in a car and go outside the US by ship.