Richard III Conquers Car Park

“My Kingdom for a horse” may have to be rewritten as “My Kingdom for a Volkswagon” historians are now saying.

Professor Julien Sentermon, for Kings College London, has revealed incredible new revelations with regards to Richard III and his burial in a car park.

“His last battle was not in Bosworth and he was not killed there, instead we think he was accidentally run over by a dust cart in Leicester Castle’s car park. Ever since 1485, there has been a car park, or cart park as they used to call it in that spot. He was thus buried in the spot where he fell, and the writing on his stone casket reveals the damning truth of his tragic death.”

The casket where Richard III died says: “Here lieth Richard III, he did not dieth in Bosworth, but Alas a Cart Park in Leicester run over by a lowly serf riding a dust cart. My Ford Fiesta and your Vauxhall Vectra be prais’d, victorious friends; The Pay and Display is ours, the bloody dog is dead!”