Romney to House Wives in East Wing After Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Presidential candidate Mitt Romney is already making plans for his 23 wives who will have their quarters in the White House East Wing, Republican campaigners have announced.

“This is something that is very important for Mitt. He wants his wives to each have their own room, and even their own communal area where they can congregate. Mitt will be in the West Wing and his wives in the East Wing,” Jane Trebiso, one of Romney’s campaigners told Reuters.

In addition to the First Wives in the White House, there will also be a Mormon Temple built in the back yard, and daily prayers will be held there.

Obama campaigners were furious with the plans and even reiterated the point that polygamy (the practice of marrying many wives) is currently outlawed by United States law and Romney would be contravening these laws if he was president.

“Mitt is a legislator. He will change the currently outdated discriminatory laws and adjust them to his faith. We need to open America up to Mormonism, to polygamy and bring God back to the people. America needs to breed more true God loving Americans, we want more wives for each man so we can breed another new America. A wholesome America where abortions and gays are outlawed. The more wives we got the better it is for that, remember there are only a few good men left, and we’re the ones with the multiple wives,” Mitt’s second in command, Jim Hallibarts, told Fox news.

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