Pussy Riot Girls Holding Daily Squib Writers Ransom

The British version of the Pussy Riot Girls have invaded the Daily Squib offices. I am currently writing this article from under a table in the office and a Pussy Riot Girl just stepped on my leg. Ouch that hurt. They say they are invading the Daily Squib offices because we are the only media outlet left in the UK that tells the truth. They say that they want to relay a message to all Pussy Riot Girls around the world to rise up and cause Pussy Mayhem. The liberation of the Great Pussy in the Sky will help all Pussy Riot Girls to rise up against Anti-Pussy Tyranny just like that big macho thug Putin is doing to the Russian Pussy Riot Girls I have just been told to write.

We have had Pussy Riot Girls subdue a few Squib writers, by means of wrapping their thighs around our heads and squeezing hard. Our sub-sub-editor, John Thomas was knocked out this morning when a Pussy Riot Girl used her Pussy Riot Technique to stop the blood going to his head, which one we’re not sure of but he is still out for the count. He is now recovering in the photocopy room with a Pussy Riot Girl standing over him with her knee high boots positioned over his testicles just in case he makes any sudden moves.

We are appealing for help for the Pussy Riot Girls. We are not against you and will write whatever you want. Ouch. \jsvkkjvsjkvbsbjvksbjks sdji

A Pussy Riot Girl just stood on my fingers. The Pussy Riot girls are demanding the release of the Russian Pussy Riot Girls from prison immediately. Putin you monkey faced botox freak..you better release the Russian Pussy Riot Girls immediately.

Please help!!! A Pussy Riot Girl just put her thighs around my ,s,shh ss sdishdui idhuiuhsd hudsuhi dudhhdhd sisisdddd…………..