Comrade Cameron Hails Soviet British Olympic Games Ceremony

Commissar Boyle, who commandeered the wonderful event, must be applauded for his true soviet spirit. He honoured the British soviet workers who built our soviet state, the British Bolshevik Revolution and he honoured our wonderful soviet health service as well as the hard-working soviet engineers who built the stadiums where the games will be held.

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A visiting Chinese comrade, Hu Jarse said this of the opening ceremony: “Even we couldn’t get more soviet than these British soviet games. Your socialist credentials completely trumped our games. We bow down in abject reverence to your soviet spirit.”

Throughout the opening ceremony for the soviet games, the audience was constantly reminded of Britain’s push towards a multicultural soviet state where brown people are put amongst the indigenous whites as tokens of soviet tolerance.

“The whites still detest the darkies but it is their sovietized duty to portray a friendly state where token dark people are accepted into socialist society, whereas in reality they are living in ghettoised soviet housing projects in inner city areas,” Commissar Hunt told the state BBC channel last night.

Comrade Boyle’s Glavrepertkom also applauded the Mensheviks, the British Social Democratic Labour Party, as well as the Stasi organisations that now dominate British soviet culture and society.

“Our children are now urged to rat out tax avoiding neighbours. You must fear all children as they are the new voice of the state. You can be taken away to a soviet British gulag at any time for a careless thoughtcrime on Twitter. This is your Stasi Soviet British State, where every communication is surveilled and logged. This is what Britain has become, be proud of this comrades, commissars, and Bolshevik warriors. You are all criminals now under our state. Thoughtcrime does not entail death: thoughtcrime is death,” a proud soviet worker said at the end of the ceremony.