BREAKING: Boris Johnson Accused of Breathing on Female Journalist in 1994

As is the case with Brexit sabotage, these stories only seem to surface from the Remainer sewer at a time when they feel threatened most.

The female journalist claims that Boris Johnson, whilst he was the editor for some magazine, breathed on the back of her naked neck with his breath causing her to become sexually aroused for a few seconds. She is now bringing up the account of her harrowing ordeal after decades because it is part of a Remainer plot to ‘besmirch’ the PM’s character just before Brexit.

“I was just getting up from a chair when Boris who had his back to me suddenly turned around. His breath touched the nape of my neck and tickled my skin. I was immediately aroused and felt something wet in my nether regions. This caused me great distress as I had to run to the bathroom and relieve my aching upright wink with a good rub down. It was the heat of summer, and I blame Boris Johnson for my impropriety,” the accusing female journalist revealed in a Sun exclusive today.

So, the PM likes a bit of female company? If this is a crime, let us all be arrested and locked up. Boris likes to move it around here or there, ooh how shocking, what an utter scoundrel!

Good on you BoJo, and your poll ratings just rose by another 35%.