IMF Chief Lagarde to Holiday in Greece

“I was invited to go to Greece to see for myself how the populations are living after they spent 500 billion euros from the EU in less than six years. For a population of just 19 million people, that is an impressive spending streak. Everyone owns a Porsche Cayenne and a helicopter. It should be delightful staying at the coast, I have heard the yachts there owned by all the Greeks are the best in the Mediterranean. I am sure they will all greet me with enthusiasm as I top up my tan on a boat or beach,” Ms Lagarde told the French newspaper, Le Monde on Saturday.

The Greek Foreign Minister, Tsisos Malaka, told Greek television: “We welcome Ms Lagarde to Greece. I have invited her to my villa in Thessaloniki. I want to show her that Greek peoples are very hard working. We wake up in the morning, check our bank accounts to see if the latest EU subsidy has been paid by the Germans, then we transfer the money offshore to the Caymans or other havens. Our working week lasts from Monday to Wednesday, sometimes we even work on Thursdays. It is hard, what with the three hour lunches, then a two hour siesta, maybe go for a swim then it’s to the coffee house to play backgammon, drink ouzo and smoke for the rest of the evening. By the way, she is also welcome at my villa in Lake Lugano and in Geneva.”

“It is unfortunate that Lagarde made a comment about the Greeks being lazy, corrupt, ungrateful tax-dodgers worthy of Nigerian 419 scammers, but consider the fact that in some Greek towns, everyone is registered as blind. All it takes to receive full benefits and extra payments from the EU is to give your doctor 200 euros and he’ll amend your records. After that is submitted to the necessary EU department, the recipient will never have to work for the rest of their life. There are so many blind people in some Greek towns that the statistics are baffling, especially when they’re all driving Ferraris. These are some of the scams that have been going on for years. It is sad that the few honest Greeks are tainted with the same brush as the majority,” a butcher from the Greek island of Kiltzos told Reuters.

When Lagarde lands in Greece in July for her holidays and goes for a meal, who is to know what the chef and restaurant workers will deposit in her food? It will certainly be a very interesting meze for her.