US Secret Service Say They Learned Everything From Bill Clinton

“Bill was a master at this stuff. He went through women like wieners in a hot dog bun. We learned skills that we never even knew existed, and how to keep it all for the most part clandestine, always deny everything, and never fess up,” one agent revealed.

Sure, JFK was no angel, and neither were the rest of the presidents, but Clinton was the one president who took sexual relations with women to new levels never before seen.

The US secret service prides itself on its secrecy and that’s why they’re called the secret service and they are proud of their mentor, Bill Clinton.

“Yeah, if I bang a few prostitutes in Obama’s hotel, I want to keep it secret, that’s why I pay her the full whack so that she don’t blab to the press. If I don’t, that’s when it gets messy. You gotta do a Bill Clinton, even though there are probably no blue dresses involved or impeachment parties waiting to string us up by the goolies. Here, I want to tell you a secret, because, I’m a secret agent dude and I can do that. I love Sarah Palin, she is one hot momma. When I was guarding her, I had to sit down a lot,” another secret agent secretly revealed on his Facebook page.