Coalition Want Window Tax Back

“I want to reintroduce the window tax that was first imposed in 1696 where anyone who owned a property had to pay tax for the number of windows in their homes. At that time it was a mere few shillings, but today it will be about £200 per window per annum. In addition to council tax, income tax, fuel tax, road tax, value added tax, pasty tax, national insurance, TV tax, business rates, stamp duty, and all the other taxes, I am sure you will enjoy this new addition to our revenue stream,” Mr Osborne announced on the BBC’s breakfast show today.

Daylight Robbery

In anticipation of the new window taxes, millions of Britons are now bricking over their windows to ensure they pay a minimum amount of window taxation.

“We’ve only got two windows in our home but we’ve had to concrete over them both because with all the other taxes we are paying we can’t afford to pay anymore taxes,” Giles Wetherington, 48, from East Grinstead, told the Daily Mail.

Anne Seebore, 58, from Barnet, London said on the BBC’s news at six: “We don’t get much sunlight in the winter months anyway, I suppose getting no sunlight is just another part of living in modern-day Britain. Oh well, here’s to rickets and darkness.”