Obama Threatens to Clean Out White House if Loses Election

“If some Republican wins, well, they may go to an empty cleaned out White House. Hell we’ll even take the light bulbs and the bulbs from the fridge. I want to see their face when they walk into the White House and see it empty,” Mr Obama told a group of reporters after a state luncheon during the British prime minister’s visit.

Obama’s wife Michelle is rather partial to cleaning out US taxpayers with lavish vacations costing millions of dollars as well as hugely expensive shopping sprees and greedy displays of self indulgence.

“Michelle can’t get enough of the White House or any $5,000 a night hotel. She even takes the cutlery and bed sheets. I seen her put a 27 inch flat screen TV in her bag when she was in Spain on one of her multi-million dollar holidays last year,” one of Michelle Obama’s personal assistants revealed to CBS.

A typical Michelle Obama entourage involves over fifty five staff members not including additional hangers-on and friends and family. When she is on holiday the convoy can usually stretch for three quarters of a mile including her secret service detail and support staff, then behind her will be Obama’s convoy.

The Obamas say whatever happens, it’s a lose lose situation for the US taxpayer and they’re perfectly happy to clean out ‘whitey’ after four hundred years of slavery.

“This is owed to us by whitey. They owe us, and they better believe we’re going to get a slice of the cake. Now gibs me some of that dessert baby, we’re going to bankrupt those mofos and take ’em for everything they got off working blacks like mules for four hundred years,” Michelle said with a glint in her eye as she took a priceless painting from the Oval room’s wall and slipped it in a black plastic bag.