“Thank God He’s White!” Windsors Breathe a Sigh of Relief

One could almost hear the collective sigh of relief from the Windsors as it was revealed after long last that Prince Harry and Meghan’s baby Archie was pale in complexion.

Royal commentator Peregrine Fortington-Smythe, explained the relief amongst the Windsors and the courtiers that Baby Sussex Archie was presented to the world.

“The sex of the baby did not matter, it was mainly of the colouring which was the issue. There are genetic instances where the negroid genes from past generations show prominence, however the prince has been very lucky that this did not happen. It would have been totally inconceivable for the Windsors to have something like that in their ranks, so they are very lucky to be out of those intrepid woods. God only knows how Prince Philip would have reacted?”

Although baby Archie had a little hat on during the presentation at Windsor castle, this could be a strategic addition, because the baby may have fuzzy hair, or even worse could take after his dad and be ginger.

One of the first things Prince Charles commented on when Harry was born was the colour of his hair.

Well wishers from all over the world have been gawping and cooing at the new arrival, and this attention will certainly rile the other contingent of the Windsors, the William family, who seem positively mediocre compared to this exotic new offering.

“William and Kate are now marginalised characters, their children are boring compared to what is to come from the Harry household. The media it seems only wants Harry and Meghan, and the additional American royal factor adds a whole new population to the celebrity proceedings. It is to this effect that Meghan and Harry have now taken the crown of a new Hollywoodized celebrity Windsor wing, and have catapulted the baby to super celebrity status in one fell swoop,” another royal commentator revealed.