Gay U.S. Marines Fancy Taliban Fighters

The U.S. military top brass is at its wits end with their gay soldiers who are meant to shoot the Taliban, but in fact prefer to ogle pictures of them and blow kisses at them whilst on patrol.

“When Obama said that the military has to accept openly gay soldiers we thought it was progress, that is until the combat started. I tell ’em to shoot, they blow kisses and wink. You try to keep cover while a gay soldier sashays up and down the street trying to get the attention of the local Taliban commander,” Major General, Lance Boyle, told Reuters.

Interestingly enough, many of the Taliban are actually homosexual, so the U.S. military wants to use the gay U.S. marines as bait to flush them out of their caves and shoot them.

“We put PFC little Billy Twinker over there outside a cave with his butt in the air, and the Taliban come from miles away for that. That’s when we shoot them,” Sergeant Bill Staines, told CNN.