Newt Gingrich in LSD Shocker

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Republican presidential hopeful, Newt Gingrich could be derailed by his most recent campaign video after it was revealed he took over six tabs of LSD before filming.

“I remember Newt in his trailer before the filming started, he was scooting along the floor talking about blue bubbles and mini mee dragons and the great fuckin’ time he had at executive drug rehab,” Johnson Arnolds, a key grip on the campaign shoot told CBS news.

Things got really weird when Newt got onto the set and started talking.

“He was talking some really weird shit. We tried to tell him to keep to the script but the little rascal kept goofing around with that nonsense shit. In the end we just called it a day and four people had to escort Newt to his trailer because he thought he was on the surface of the moon,” director, Timmy Olsen, revealed.

Some voters have actually applauded Gingrich for his drug taking: “I think he’s cool now. I was at Woodstock, and I know what it’s like to take some bad acid. Man, I was tripping for three weeks solid after that, dang nearly hospitalised me.”

There are calls for Mr Gingrich to be investigated by Drug Enforcement agents, as he was seen taking over six LSD tabs before the shoot.

Although he may have acquired a bad batch of acid, and it may have fried his brains permanently, he was still able to conduct himself well at a recent Republican rally in Wisconsin on Tuesday.

“Newt needs help because the acid literally fried his brain. He can’t string a coherent sentence together, I know Bush couldn’t either, but this is worse,” a Republican campaign manager told Fox News.

Newt’s ex-wife was not available for comment.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    7 days ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.