Nick Clegg Fails UK Citizenship Test Could Be Deported

LONDON - England - Deputy prime minister, Nick Clegg, has failed his UK Citizenship Test for the third time and will be removed from the UK, border control officials have revealed.

“We’re not actually sure where he’s from but he’s definitely not from Britain, that’s for sure.” a Border Agency worker disclosed to the Daily Mail.

Things have been rather tough for Clegg since joining the Coalition government, and he will surely be glad to be out of the heat of the frying pan and back to obscurity.

Speaking from his home, Nick Clegg said: “My political allegiance lies slightly to the left…no just left of centre…maybe somewhat to the right…a tiny bit left and right…oh, how about diagonal south west…maybe east, west…thirty degrees north?”

Tory MP, Sullivan Pratter, said: “There’s two things I like about Nick Clegg — his face. As for where he came from, I don’t think even he knows. No one actually knows who he really is or what he’s doing here.”

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