Newt Gingrich Opens New Jersey Maggot Farm

“I just opened a maggot farm, some people say I kinda look like a maggot, I certainly act like one, but that’s neither here, nor there. I’m counting on all y’all to vote for me soon,” Mr Gingrich told CBS news as he opened up the new maggot farm in the Trenton Mercer Industrial Park, New Jersey area.

The maggot farm’s proprieter, Ed Relnick, was pleased that the Republican candidate made a stop at his farm: “They came here in the morning with their entourage. When Gingrich stepped off his tour bus, I just said, shiiet, that boy looks like one of my maggots, his whole head looks like a maggot head. I just thought it was so appropriate. Before he left, I gave him a box of my best maggots, and he said he liked the look of them maggots. He’s gonna win the Republican primaries for sure. We’re gonna have a maggot as our new president, same as the other maggots huh.”

Currently, Newt Gingrich is up there as the leading Republican candidate for the presidential race in 2012 after Herman Caine was retired, due to his tendancy to allegedly molest bucketloads of white women, and then coolly deny everything.