Union Boss Calls Strikes So He Can Keep £800,000 Pension

Speaking from the Bahamas, Bob Vulture was on a yachting trip around the island and said to a BBC reporter: “I want all my union members to strike for me. You won’t get paid to strike, whereas, I always get paid, suckers. You all need to rise up comrades because these people in government are now threatening to take away my diamond plated £800,000 yearly pension and expenses. You must all donate to ‘our’ cause immediately.”

Claridges

Mr Vulture, who commands a huge yearly salary of £700,000, as well as an unlimited expense account, is furious that the Coalition government is now trying to halt another massive hike in public sector pay.

Champagne

The Socialist Marxist Worker’s Consortium’s deputy, Ronnie Anus, praised Mr Vulture’s speech: “Comrades, we need to defend our unlimited expense accounts, paid for by the taxpayer. Bob Vulture is an inspiration to all of us. One day, I too, would like to have a job like that c*nt, who works one day a week, takes ten holidays a year, and lives the life of Riley on a huge salary. We just need someone to shoehorn the f*cker out of the job, maybe another Worker’s Revolution. More champagne please, we’re not all in this together.”